As You Wish

So, a year ago, I promised you guys a wedding blog. Either I forgot I said that, or life got so busy it MADE me forget that... but somehow, that never happened.

Here we are, a year+ into our marriage, and I am finally going to write it. Now, a recap for those new to the blog: Steve and I have had quite a journey over the last 9 years. We became friends on Twitter, over our love of the Atlanta Braves. When I became single a couple years later, we started talking more often, and our relationship developed. We met for the first time in person in Atlanta, June 2013, when we attended Chipper Jones's number retirement, and have been together ever since.

Steve likes to tell people he proposed 493,876 times - he probably did, but in his version of the story, I turned him down all those times. Truth is, we planned our wedding in October 2013 in a hotel room in Halifax, NS. We knew I was going to move to Canada, so we agreed the wedding would be in Atlanta. Atlanta will ALWAYS be home to me, and is the foundation of us getting together, so it was the perfect location. Little did we know, our immigration journey was going to be a long and bumpy one. November 2018, I FINALLY moved up to Canada on a visa. We got married in a quick justice of the peace ceremony in December so we could put in my permanent resident application. I didn't want to let go of the wedding I'd been planning for over 5 years, so we decided we'd still have the Atlanta wedding, and that would be the day we actually celebrated as our wedding anniversary.

I spent 5 months planning a wedding remotely, and let me tell you - I could not have asked for better vendors than the ones we used. I'll add all of their links at the bottom of this blog, because they deserve any and all business I can bring them. The ONLY part of the planning that was stressful for me, was not being able to see the venue in person. I am ALWAYS in hostess mode, and not knowing exactly where everything was, and how it was laid out (I was given floor plans and pictures, but it's never the same as seeing it in person) was killing me. Having a ridiculously patient venue staff was much appreciated, because I know I can be a lot, at times. I also was stressing over our wedding portraits, not knowing the scenery available to us at the venue. The portraits were EASILY the most important part of the day for me, because we had waited so long, and worked so hard for this moment. Our photog, Katie, was incredible, and made a point to visit the venue months ahead of the wedding to tell me what she saw for pictures. We had a bit of a kerfuffle getting an officiant, and I'm glad we did, because James ended up being the perfect choice for our special day.

I was blessed enough to have my Mama and sister do the flowers and cake for our day, so there wasn't any stress there, since they know me so well. My only stress with that part was making sure they knew how much I appreciated their efforts.

So, the day before the wedding came, and Mama, Gordon (stepdad), and I met at the venue to do a walk through of the venue, and make sure we had a good plan for setup the next day. Our wedding was a small affair, just family and close friends, so there wasn't a big event to prepare for, and seeing it all in person calmed me a lot. Again, the venue staff was so accommodating, and patient with all of my questions.

The prep on the wedding day is a bit of a blur, because it was so crazy. But I have this weird trait, as a SUPER anxious person, to go into calm mode when things are hectic (especially in a party setting, maybe it's the hostess in me?). So I just adjusted with the little curves the day threw at me. I simplified my makeup, was fine that the cake was melting in the heat, didn't care that I forgot some of the decorations in the car, etc. All that mattered to me was that Steve and I were getting our day, finally.

We started with a first look. I love the whole "first look is the walk down the aisle" concept, but since the portraits were so important to me, this gave us a chance to knock most of those out pre-wedding.

Then we came to the ceremony. As my readers know, my Daddy passed away in 2014. So, I knew I needed to have my Mama walk me down the aisle. She means just as much to me as he did. I have been so blessed with the parents (David, Jan, and Gordon) that God has given me, and having them all there, even with one in spirit, meant so much to me. We walked down to Haley Reinhart's version of Can't Help Falling in Love with You, as a nod to my Daddy. He was known to call and sing Happy Birthday to his friends/family as Elvis, so that was my way of including him in the moment.

We had an unplugged ceremony, and I think our guests felt restricted from that, so we have hardly any pictures from the reception (I'd hoped we'd have selfies galore). But the day was PERFECT, and we have amazing memories to last a lifetime. We could not have asked for a better day, and both still comment on the day when we look at the pictures. I mean...

PERFECTION.

If you're looking in the ATL area for wedding vendors:

Photography: Katie Coon Photography

Venue: Lanier Islands

Officiant: James Hamp

Hair: Laura Austin

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh... Canada.

I am grossly behind on updating this blog, and there has been a lot to talk about, but no real time to stop and do so. There have been more immigration steps, house hunting, wedding planning, our illnesses, cat illnesses... and suddenly it's July.

So, I'll do my best to catch everyone up with where life is now, and where it's been since I last posted in November (NOVEMBER??? 9 months ago, really?!). 

So, given the position I was put in with suddenly being without a job, I had no health insurance after the first week in October. As I've spoken about a little in this blog, I have several health issues - some life-threatening, and some chronic pain-related - so not having insurance just flat-out isn't an option for me. That put us in one spot: we needed to get married as soon as I moved up, so I could be put on Steve's health insurance through work/put in my PR application with immigration so I could get a health card. 

We got married on December 18th (took us a month to get all of the paperwork in order), in the lobby of our apartment building by a Justice of the Peace. While she was fantastic, I'd been planning our wedding for 5+ years at this point, so the idea of giving up what I'd been working on/dreaming of for us really upset me. We decided this would just be the "official, but not official" marriage, and we'd go on with the actual wedding in the Spring, and celebrate that as our "official" marriage, and anniversary going forward. It's what would've been the wedding if I'd still had my job when I moved up, so it only made sense. 

That being said, above all else, this is a shoe blog. I bought these heels 3 years ago, and literally never even opened the box they were shipped in; saving them for our wedding day. I decided to give them a trial run on the "official, but not official" day, and thank goodness I did. They're PERFECTION, but too small, and I would've been in trouble if I'd had them on for the "official" wedding. But look how pretty!!!

Brand: Taylor Says Name: Til Death

Store: https://taylorreeve.com/

Review: 6" heel. Fits SMALL. I'd for sure recommend going up a size. Keep in mind, I'm used to having my toes squished, and being uncomfortable for the sake of fashion. These were unbearable, and I only wore them for about an hour, if even that. 

Since December, we've been house-hunting like crazy. The market is out of control right now in Halifax. People are listing for $50,000-$80,000 above what their house is worth, and getting it. It's been incredibly discouraging, especially since we waited this long to be together, and now are still waiting to start our life here on our own. We're getting glimmers of hope here and there in the last 2 months, so I'm trying to stay positive and know our house is coming soon.

Other than that, we dealt with health issues (both us, and Gus - our sweet, 18 year old cat), and *I* dealt with wedding, Wedding, WEDDING. That'll come in another post. It was almost 6 years in the making - it's earned a solo post.

I am still holding off on a job search, in hopes that we'll find a house soon, and I can get us through the move before taking on the stress of resumes, interviews, etc. We'll see if that plan changes in the coming months, if no houses come about. 

So, until next time (i.e. THE WEDDING), it's good to be back, and I'll see you all soon... I hope!

COULD I LOVE HER MORE?!

Seriously. Those that know me (on multiple levels) know my love of "Jenny Ani" (on multiple levels). Jennifer Aniston is just... siiiiiiiiiiiigh. Love her. She's ridiculously talented. If you've never ventured outside of her Friends/romantic comedies days - give it a shot. I recommend Cake and Good Girl. Derailed is also a big step outside of what you know of her. If you're in to indie-type flicks - I recommend "She's Funny That Way" and "Life of Crime". Two movies I bought having never seen them, and was pleasantly surprised with them. ESPECIALLY Life of Crime. I had heard a lot of bad on it. I actually thought it was pretty darn good. I get it, though. The previews played it like it was supposed to be this super funny movie. It wasn't funny. It has a couple of cute moments, but if anything I'd grant it a dark comedy/crime status. Anyhoo... I'm rambling. She's talented, despite what "cliche Hollywood" gives her credit for - don't forget, she's a producer and director, too. In addition to that, she's funny as hell, brutally honest, drop dead gorgeous, and then we have this:

You can read through the whole article (and I encourage you to - PLEASE READ), but here are a few key points. Let's dive in:

"The objectification and scrutiny we put women through is absurd and disgusting." A.MEN. I'll get into more as we reach deeper in this article/my blog, but perfect example: I had a wicked bruise on my arm the past few weeks. Cannot tell you how many "What man is beating up on you?"-type comments I got. Like OMG, there's no way you could have a bruise without it meaning you're a disobedient woman to your man. Shame on you. PUNCH.

"The message that girls are not pretty unless they're incredibly thin, that they're not worthy of our attention unless they look like a supermodel or an actress on the cover of a magazine is something we're all willing to buy into. This conditioning is something girls then carry into womanhood." YUP. As someone who was verbally belittled constantly in junior high/high school, there is never a day I truly believe when I'm told I look pretty that day. I see it as "You improved over that horrible look from the other day." And I am fully aware that's not how the people saying it mean it. So I've learned to smile and accept the compliment, all the while not believing a word they say.

"This past month in particular has illuminated for me how much we define a woman's value based on her marital and maternal status." Now, while this one obviously has direct meaning to what she's going through, the overall message still spoke to me. Any given day for me: "Why aren't you and Steve married yet?" "Are you getting married? When?" "Do y'all plan to have babies soon?" "Wait, you don't want kids?! WHY???" "Oh, you'll change your mind about kids once you're married." "It just shocks me you don't want kids, are you sure?" PEOPLE: I, as a woman, am not on this earth solely to be a wife and/or mother. I am a person that can make choices. These choices are mine, and you don't have to make the same ones, or even agree with the ones I make. I don't judge anyone that has kids. I don't look at them every day and ask them "Wait... you have kids?! WHY???" Just because I am not dying to pop out children for my husband does not make me a bad person. **Additional note here: I actually DO have kids. They just all have 4 legs instead of 2. Meaning they're animals - don't call the Guinness World Record people to come to my house looking for several 4-legged humans.

"I resent being made to feel 'less than' because my body is changing and/or I had a burger for lunch and was photographed from a weird angle and therefore deemed one of two things: 'pregnant' or 'fat'. Not to mention the painful awkwardness that comes with being congratulated by friends, coworkers and strangers alike on one's fictional pregnancy..." *waves hands in the air in praise* PREACH! Let me tell you, dear blog readers: I have had a rough couple of years emotionally. Losing my father, which I have been fairly open about here; having to put down my cat down 4 months later; of course, being a long distance every day from my love; plus the every day ups and downs that life throws at you. I've put on a fair amount of weight in the last year 1/2. I'm aware of that. Having people remind me is not necessary. Now, you know how you hear about those people that ask about a lady being pregnant, then are horrified to find out she's not, so they've basically just called her fat? This is something that no woman should ever have to deal with. Ever. To encounter it once in your lifetime is too many. So let me tell you how many times it's happened to me. Actually, I'd have to think about it to give you the real total, but just out the gate I thought of 5 people. And I am an outspoken person. But I swear every single time it happens feels like the first time and I am just dumbfounded that a person could see that as an ok thing to say when I have given you ZERO indication that I am pregnant. Do I wish I had not gained this weight? Sure. But I realize life has its weight yo-yos and I'm just at the down (or up?) part right now. What I don't need is people reminding me of where I'm at. "Oh gosh you're fat." *brain corrects them* "Awww, you're pregnant!" Nope. Nope, you're just an awful human. Thanks for playing.

Thank you, Jennifer for putting a VERY public voice to this everyday problem. And thank you all for allowing me to bend your ear (or eyes) on my personal connection to it.